Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Easter Basket


After 40 days of absenteeism he always looked forward to the Easter basket. The symbolic Easter basket would have all sorts of surprises hidden amongst its depth.

A brother who was a Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, tooth fairy all wrapped in one.
  Since the time he had known presents his brother was always the giver, life of pampering, loving and being cherished was all he knew. Growing up has its own casualties, reality bites in all the right places and one realizes the true essence of living and admiring life and its surprises.
It was Easter time …Only this time it will mark the turning point in their life. A point from which they will both return enriched with humility, and enlightened with reality of life. Things they took for granted are no more the same; there is a new hue around their desires and it’s this hue that will take them forward.
 As the younger brother YB sat near the window contemplating the Easter surprise for his elder brother he could not think of much. With no money in his bank and meager salary of his elder brother, what ever little they had was not for celebration but essentials.

Sitting alone and wallowing in self-pity can be very depressing and so he decided to do what he would often do to cheer himself up… he decided to go in the kitchen n cook an Easter dinner for his brother. The warmth of kitchen, the familiar spices, and tall bottles of emptiness filled him with the desire to make the most of what ever was left in their kitchen.

There was a sack of potatoes and a stale packet of bread some left over milk in the pot.
The menu was ready its going to be one the most favorite meal of his brother only this time it was not made because it was favorite but because there was nothing else to cook and for now it was all  they could afford. At the cost of sounding ungrateful he thought it’s the same menu but circumstances have changed its tuff to live a simple life when you are used to privileges; only u never knew they were privileges and mistook them as necessities.

He started boiling the potatoes and chopping onions, green chilies, and some coriander leaves … once the potatoes were boiled and mashed he will make potato cutlets and with  the left over coriander and green chilies some spicy chutney would compliment the cutlets perfectly. The stale packet of bread when toasted along with hot ginger flavored tea will make a hearty meal and the elder one would not even know its because the pots were empty because it will be perfect for him being his favorite and all.  The only thing that was left was the dessert. He knew how much his brother loved sweet so a toast with scraped jam from the bottom of the jar will do for today.

Time passed by and soon he realized its 8 pm and decided to get dressed for the special dinner very soon his brother will be home. He wanted to be his cheerful best, he did not wish to show how troubled he was because of their financial situation and how much he wanted to help him out and how desperate he was to start his job if only some one would give him one.  He knew that last of what ever the savings his brother had, was already with-drawn today morning so that he could go to work. They had mutually decided that going to work was the most important aspect so that the income of one person is assured irrespective of rains, exhaustion, cough n colds taking an off was not an option because that meant lesser amount on the payday.

Aah the calculation, planning and budgeting are such a waste when you barely have enough to feed and stay put in one place yet that is what he would do so that not even a dime is spent on something that could be considered as a waste or a luxury.

In the morning before leaving for work he was asked one last time what would he like as Easter present and he replied very strictly “I don’t want anything you give me my Easter present along with my birthday present”, which was coming up in another 2-3 months thinking by that time he will surely find some kind of work and things will be better. YB made him promise he will not splurge on Easter present they were together that it self was more than he could ask for this Easter and that was to be the end of discussion for both.

On the sound of the bell he ran to open the doors and the first thing he asked “I hope you have not wasted the precious money on buying me an Easter present”.  As his brother passed him in the hallway and came in he didn’t even notice how exceptionally tired he looked.  He sat and asked for a glass of water YB went to get the water and they both sat and started talking about their day and how they spent it. The younger one told excitedly I made your favorite dinner today and smiled … the elder one replied don’t tell me its potato cutlets with toast knowing well that there was nothing else to cook when he left the house in the morning. The gurgling and rumbling of their tummy reminded them they were hungry and now it was time to eat the favorite meal.

As they sat to eat they prayed together and thanked god for the blessing that they were to each other and knew as long as they are together potato cutlets will always be their favorite meal simply because they were together. When the meal got over YB went in the kitchen to get the toast with jam in the place of dessert. On returning he saw there was this beautifully wrapped present sitting in the middle of the table.  He gave the suspicious look to his brother and heard himself saying “I told you not to…You know we can t indulge our selves” the elder one replied I took the bus today and saved on the cab and from that saved money I bought this .. Go ahead open it.

Slowly YB started unwrapping what seemed to be very heavy package….very soon he could make out it was a basket; in-fact it was thee most beautiful Easter baskets he had ever seen … it was of Blue and silver colored wire, meshed into a basket and within it were 3 Easter eggs one made of marzipan one made of chocolate one made of chocolate and filled with candies. With tears in his eyes he hugged his brother because he knew today he has received the biggest Easter basket that ever was made and which will never be empty of good wishes, love, safety, brimming with god’s love and overflowing with that warm feeling of being loved and being together.
He saw his brother smiling as they both wished each other “Happy Easter”. 

Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Street Window by Franz Kafka

Translated by Willa and Edwin Muir

Whoever leads a solitary life and yet now and then wants to attach himself somewhere, whoever, according to changes in the time of day, the weather, the state of his business, and the like, suddenly wishes to see any arm at all to which he might cling - he will not be able to manage for long without a window looking on to the street. And if he is in the mood of not desiring anything and only goes to his window sill a tired man, with eyes turning from his public to heaven and back again, not wanting to look out and having thrown his head up a little, even then the horses below will draw him down into their train of wagons and tumult, and so at last into the human harmony.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

And I will always loooove youuuuuuuuuuuuuu……..

On Saturday 11th Feb. 2012 that resonating voice which could hit any note effortlessly was quiet forever.
In the recent news Houston was thrashed for many wrong doings one of them being she not protecting the gods gift a blessing which she was chosen to be bestowed with.  Despite of every thing one thing is for sure there will be no one else like Houston in the history of Music ever. Her voice quality and passion with which she would sing connected with people and when she hit those notes there was magic and we were left with little choice but to follow her through the experience;  feel the clarity of that voice; the voice and  how high it could go and stay there as long as Houston commanded it.
I often wonder why such gifted people most of the times end up alone, lonely and lost.  Why these people who I believe are hand picked by god end up so alone… loved by so many and yet no one to love.  The end and the finality of them gone itself creates a vacuum that can never be filled;  and the circumstances surrounding their demise just adds to the sadness and pathos of it all.
Morrison, Cobain,  Winehouse, MJ, Houston,  the list is endless and I am sure there is going to be many more addition, and that’s what makes the whole deal unfair.
 I remember when I attended Live concert of Gazal Legend  Jagjit Singh I told him “ even when you clear your throat it sounds like humming… “ and very modestly and full of humility he replied “lady the good lord has blessed most of us with voice, some of us choose to nurture this gift others take it for granted” … did Houston take her gift for granted and abused some thing which was so unique and inimitable.  I don’t think that’s true with great gifts come greater insecurities it’s difficult to go on and live an ordinary life when you are all the time made out to be a person who is to lead by examples. We all mess up, act stupid, abuse our bodies,  talent and relationships …. We take our loved ones for granted (most of us do) and being anonymous we can fixit, live with it, forgive it, and forget it but alas this privilege is not extended to the chosen ones, gifted ones, famous ones, the ones we all envy, admire and may be want to be like but in our hearts there is comfort in knowing that though one is “just another face in crowd” there is a crowd when your time comes… there are hands which will hold you, voices that will comfort you and reassure you and help you move on to eternity with belief that you are not alone….
In our hearts we love them all ... all those who shined in life..inspired us..achieved their zenith ... made us believe in magic, love, and all things positive... though you are gone now ..you  too were loved distantly, anonymously and you shall  be remembered eternally.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

I am not .....

I am not ungrateful; I am just unhappy
I have not failed; it’s just my expectation from self were too high

I am not lonely; it’s just that solitude is all I have

I am not stubborn; it's just I don’t know any better

I am not cynical; it’s just I can not unlearn the bitter lessons

I am not without focus; but then what will I do once I get there

I am not self-centered; but that is all I am left with

I am not quiet; but where are the people

I am not against companionship; but all who understood me are gone

I am not against sunshine; but my heart is filled with darkness

I am just me and sometimes I feel that’s not enough for ME
I am not negative; it's just this poem starts with I am not.....