And I will always loooove youuuuuuuuuuuuuu……..

On Saturday 11^th Feb. 2012 that resonating voice which could hit any note effortlessly was quiet forever.

In the recent news Houston was thrashed for many wrong doings one of them being she not protecting the gods gift a blessing which she was chosen to be bestowed with.  Despite of every thing one thing is for sure there will be no one else like Houston in the history of Music ever. Her voice quality and passion with which she would sing connected with people and when she hit those notes there was magic and we were left with little choice but to follow her through the experience;  feel the clarity of that voice; the voice and  how high it could go and stay there as long as Houston commanded it.

I often wonder why such gifted people most of the times end up alone, lonely and lost.  Why these people who I believe are hand picked by god end up so alone… loved by so many and yet no one to love.  The end and the finality of them gone itself creates a vacuum that can never be filled;  and the circumstances surrounding their demise just adds to the sadness and pathos of it all.

Morrison, Cobain,  Winehouse, MJ, Houston,  the list is endless and I am sure there is going to be many more addition, and that’s what makes the whole deal unfair.
 I remember when I attended Live concert of Gazal Legend  Jagjit Singh I told him “ even when you clear your throat it sounds like humming… “ and very modestly and full of humility he replied “lady the good lord has blessed most of us with voice, some of us choose to nurture this gift others take it for granted” … did Houston take her gift for granted and abused some thing which was so unique and inimitable.  I don’t think that’s true with great gifts come greater insecurities it’s difficult to go on and live an ordinary life when you are all the time made out to be a person who is to lead by examples. We all mess up, act stupid, abuse our bodies,  talent and relationships …. We take our loved ones for granted (most of us do) and being anonymous we can fixit, live with it, forgive it, and forget it but alas this privilege is not extended to the chosen ones, gifted ones, famous ones, the ones we all envy, admire and may be want to be like but in our hearts there is comfort in knowing that though one is “just another face in crowd” there is a crowd when your time comes… there are hands which will hold you, voices that will comfort you and reassure you and help you move on to eternity with belief that you are not alone….
In our hearts we love them all ... all those who shined in life..inspired us..achieved their zenith ... made us believe in magic, love, and all things positive... though you are gone now ..you  too were loved distantly, anonymously and you shall  be remembered eternally.

I am not .....

I am not ungrateful; I am just unhappy
I have not failed; it’s just my expectation from self were too high

I am not lonely; it’s just that solitude is all I have

I am not stubborn; it's just I don’t know any better

I am not cynical; it’s just I can not unlearn the bitter lessons

I am not without focus; but then what will I do once I get there

I am not self-centered; but that is all I am left with

I am not quiet; but where are the people

I am not against companionship; but all who understood me are gone

I am not against sunshine; but my heart is filled with darkness

I am just me and sometimes I feel that’s not enough for ME
I am not negative; it's just this poem starts with I am not.....