Lents and Ash Wednesday ....

When I was young and I use to see my mother getting all worked up during the Lents with lots of prayer meetings, preparation of all kinds of delicacies for the members of the church who would visit every house and sing the good lords praises, bless the community and develop good ole' fellowship it would make me wonder ,"whats the big deal..? Jesus papa knows whats is to be done why bother with all the fellowship & prayer meetings ".

That’s all it meant to me lots of people getting together, singing songs, reading bible, collecting donations all in the name of "JESUS"... like a typical wanna be adult I would also attempt to keep Lents ... would get up early morning eat a very heavy breakfast and go back to sleep more or less like the Muslims keep their rozas. Usually Lents fall very close to Holi "the festival of colors and yummy Gujias" now this is the tuff part, its gets very difficult to maintain the dignity and accept the gujias saying "you know i will have it later in the evening" n through out the day u keep thinking about it n keep waiting for 7 pm so that u can officially break your lent n go munch munch n munch....

As I started understanding the world n its working i started keeping Lents a lot more sincerely where in no more temptations, pure fasting and in return i will ask god to grant me all i seek during these forty days.... it kind of worked for a while...

Then came year 2005... these were going to be the Lents which I will never forget.... because this was the year when i realized that god works in mysterious ways and its not always that u can strike a bargain with the almighty. I guess the Lents of 2005 were the most religious, sincere, pure Lents I ever kept with all my heart and soul and hoped and prayed to god to grant me one wish. I prayed and not bargained but alas it was not to be... that’s the time i realized sometimes even when your wishes are not granted , amidst all the disappointment and fear for the future god gives you strength and guides you through all of it to help you become your own being.....

Its not about repentance to me its about realization and acceptance, 40 days of self realization leading to self discovery of a simple fact that in spite of everything, I know I am truly "BLESSED"

“And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting. (Mark 9:29)”