Control freak!

Finally life was going the way she expected it to. It seemed like an eternity to wait for things to fall into places in the same order as she had wanted them. There was calm routine about everything , work was good and used to keep her occupied in the most pleasant manner, friends were there with a new understanding of the work pressures and acknowledging the need to be with each other, socializing was also in just about the right doses.

Every weekend she would look forward to cooking a great meal, spending a lazy afternoon with a book, some music, and may be an evening out for drinks, careless bantering... she was soaking up the essence of her existence... carefree, fearless, passionate, focused, ready to explore all those interests which she had been mentioning as hobbies and never got time to really get acquainted with. She was happy, life was not very adventurous but there was a strange calm and a peace within her, it had been a while since she felt this way. Finally she thought to herself I have control over my impulsive nature, I have learnt the art of controlling my self and my surroundings and now nothing can sway me away from this new found control over my self.
But as they say there is always a deathly calm before the storm. She wonders about that evening when she thought it was just the kind of adventure she needed.

The adventure it self was fun and very pleasant but now it would not leave her. Whenever she was alone the thoughts would just barge in and disrupt a quiet evening which she had been looking forward to or was planning on having. It had been a while since anyone disrupted her calm and peaceful evenings; quiet moments where she would just soak up in her present. Now it was all gone.... there was no time left for her, all her free moments were the most exhaustive ones which left her wondering about all that could be, or what she feels about how it should be... there is no control over memories, thoughts and desires. They have taken over completely what she had created all her life, in just one evening.... now the memories of that evening control her.... she always did havea strong bond with CONTROL, now its was her turn to get controlled...